But then it kept happening. I would get scared in church services, class, on stage, in the car, and among groups of people. These random moments of panic kept making themselves known. I started avoiding many things to keep this anxiety from happening. Now, as a music performance major, this was very difficult because I had to perform all the time. I had loved singing and performing and now I began to dread it. I started to think it was spiritual warfare. I prayed and cried and trusted in the Lord. It was truly by God's grace that I made it through my senior voice recital and graduated, although I prayed and shed many tears in that last year and half.
My sweet husband married me anyway, even though he knew that sometimes I got a little wacko. He has been so steady and supportive. He helped me eliminate stress in my life that made living life easier.
Then I had a baby boy...a sweet one that I love so much. And I made it through postpartum (whew, that was crazy!). Six months later, I still had anxiety issues...and they were getting worse. I mentioned to my midwife that I was having anxiety, and after asking me a few questions, she said, "I think you have a hormone imbalance...probably low progesterone." Y'all, this hit me like a ton of bricks! Hormonal imbalance actually runs in my family and we never thought of this! I was so excited to maybe get an answer!
My midwife had me do saliva testing to find out my hormone levels. And guess what, my hormones were completely out-of-whack! She put me on a good multi-vitamin and some progesterone cream. After three months, I was a new woman! I could not believe the healing I had received.
After five years of praying for God to set me free from this bondage of anxiety, He sent someone to give me an answer. I am so thankful for His goodness in my life. My life has changed. Now, that doesn't mean I don't still have fear, worry, and struggles, but my chronic anxiety is no longer out of control and I have found peace.